Bones of Ollis

Scientists at NASA were today examining these remarkable images found in the possession of an ancient tribe of Native Americans that had migrated to West London in search of scrap metal.

It has been claimed that these images show the wrists of the legendary drummer Terry Ollis following an accident in January 2002. Scientists agree that the lines of energy that have carved the shape of the bones correspond with Neolithic paintings, found under the Westway, charting the paths of the stars and unidentified extraterrestrial vehicles that are claimed to have been seen from the Portobello Road.

Leaders of the Native American tribe claim that the breakages represent a tear in the fabric of reality itself, and have set up an all-night vigil, sustained only by a Full English Breakfast.

Even Pop Idol didn't get you this close to the action.